Kim Kardashian's Week Has Been Truly Horrifying. | Gradient

Kim Kardashian’s week has been truly horrifying.


On Saturday, we examined a week in the life of Donald Trump, which was a hell of his own personal making, and explored how sometimes bad luck is really just the culmination of a series of bad decisions and generally being an asshole. For an interesting contrast, let’s look at someone else who endured a truly horrifying week: Kim Kardashian. Unlike Trump, Kim’s week has been awful simply because the world can sometimes be a vampire, particularly to women.

The ground zero for this nightmare is Paris, where Kim’s been spending the week with her mom, Kris Jenner, and her sisters Kourtney Kardashian and Kendall Jenner. It’s Paris Fashion Week, which doesn’t sound like the chillest week to begin with, but it was made significantly worse by the appearance of disgraced celebrity reporter, current celebrity “prankster” and truly awful human being Vitalii Sediuk. Sediuk has failed at every single thing he has ever attempted, so he now gets his jollies off by physically accosting the young and beautiful during red carpet appearances. That this spoonful of scum isn’t in prison is a testament to the grace the global justice system has for privileged white men. On Wednesday, he sneaked onto the red carpet and literally kissed Kim’s famous ass, only to be violently speed tackled by her security — the one good thing to come out of the whole disgusting incident.

Speaking of disgusting, an unpleasant aside to her week was a clip unearthed by Vanity Fair that showed Donald Trump criticizing Kim for (what else?) gaining weight. Vanity Fair incorrectly reported the 2013 quote as if it was breaking news, but it certainly resurrected an old but undoubtedly painful line of celebrity tabloid gossip which was, for many years, obsessed with the Kardashian weight.

That was pretty bad, but it wasn’t as bad as what happened on Sunday. According to the BBC, at least two men dressed as police officers forced their way into the house where Kim was staying, tied her up, gagged her, locked her in the bathroom and made off with anywhere between six and ten million dollars in jewelry.

Fortunately, Kim was not physically harmed and her husband Kanye stopped a show mid-song in New York City, telling the crowd he had a “family emergency.” So, all things considered, this could have been much worse.

It’s easy to hate on Kim. One of the prices of reality television fame is widespread hatred from the same people who made you a star. Another price is notoriety, meaning masked jewel thieves and slimy “pranksters” have you on their radar. All this culminates in an increased likelihood that something bad will happen to you and your family. There’s no word right now on where Kim’s children North and Saint were at the time of the robbery, but the awfulness of the Paris incident is compounded by the two young lives on the periphery.

Look. There are a lot of jokes to be made here, and Twitter wasted no time in getting right to them. Nobody wants to shed tears for the perils of being unimaginably wealthy, and social media is a place for easy and immediate snark. That’s Twitter for you and, of course, there was the almost immediate pushback of people shaming the jokesters because Kim is a wife, a mother, etc.

But even moreso than most wives and mothers, Kim Kardashian is Kim Kardashian — a wholly unique celebrity, one of the half dozen or so most famous people in the world. That comes with a lot of collateral, and Kim does not get the credit she deserves for maintaining such a relatively drama-free life. The slew of reality stars who succumbed to the pressure and either burned out or faded away is a long one, and should prove that what the Kardashians have pulled off is not nearly as easy as it looks. They’ve been richly rewarded for that feat, of course. But as this week shows, it come at a significant cost.

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To get his new album Cold Answer, (which features the three songs from him you heard on this episode), visit

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