Ranking Donald Trump’s Conspiracy Theories By Conspiracy-ness. | Gradient
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Ranking Donald Trump’s conspiracy theories by conspiracy-ness.

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What does Donald Trump believe? This is a slippery question, on account of the fact that Trump’s beliefs shift with the tides, the beating of a moth’s wings, or no reason at all. But among those beliefs are some bonafide conspiracy theories, and they are doozies. It remains to be seen whether any of Trump’s legion of endorsers will cosign to his conspiracy theories but, quite frankly, they should. Here’s a selection:

The Clintons Murdered Vince Foster

The Quote: “[Foster] had intimate knowledge of what was going on. He knew everything that was going on, and then all of a sudden he committed suicide. I don’t bring [Foster’s death] up because I don’t know enough to really discuss it. I will say there are people who continue to bring it up because they think it was absolutely a murder. I don’t do that because I don’t think it’s fair.” –Washington Post

The Theory: Okay! In 1993, deputy White House counsel Vince Foster was found dead in Fort Marcy Park off the George Washington Parkway in Virginia, outside Washington, D.C. Multiple investigations ruled the death a suicide, but rumors started swirling after a book called Bill and Hillary: The Marriage by Christopher Andersen alleged that Foster and Hillary Clinton had an affair, which was then covered up by murdering Foster.

Conspiracy Level: Three post-it notes over a webcam.

Ted Cruz’s Father Killed JFK

The Quote: “His father was with Lee Harvey Oswald prior to Oswald’s being — you know, shot. I mean, the whole thing is ridiculous. What is this, right prior to his being shot, and nobody even brings it up. They don’t even talk about that. That was reported, and nobody talks about it. I mean, what was he doing — what was he doing with Lee Harvey Oswald shortly before the death? Before the shooting? It’s horrible.” -Fox News

The Theory: This story started with sterling journalistic entity The National fricken’ Enquirer, which claimed Rafael Cruz was photographed with Lee Harvey Oswald handing out pro-Castro pamphlets in New Orleans prior to the shooting of JFK.

Conspiracy Level: Five Illuminati references in Beyonce’s Super Bowl Halftime Show.

President Obama was born in Kenya

The Quote: “I have a deal for the president. If Barack Obama opens up and gives his college records and applications, and passport application and records, I will give to a charity of his choice, a check immediately for $5 million.” –Twitter

The Theory: That President Barack Obama was not born in the United States, and is not eligible to be President. Please don’t make me go into the details on this.

Conspiracy Level: One attempt to bribe the President of the United States

Antonin Scalia was murdered

The Quote: “Well, I just heard today, and that was just a little while ago actually—you know I just landed, and I’m hearing it’s a big topic – that’s the question. And it’s a horrible topic, but they say they found a pillow on his face, which is a pretty unusual place to find a pillow.” -The Savage Nation

The Theory: Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia did not actually pass away from natural causes, as investigators determined, but was murdered in his sleep for reasons too chilling to speculate on.

Conspiracy Level: Four men in black are pulling up to your house who just need to ask you a few questions.

Climate change is a hoax invented by the Chinese

The Quote: “The concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese in order to make U.S. manufacturing non-competitive” -Twitter

The Theory: Pretty straight forward

Conspiracy Level: Four doctored photos of the melting polar ice caps

Vaccinations cause autism

The Quote: “When I was growing up, autism wasn’t really a factor. And now all of a sudden, it’s an epidemic. Everybody has their theory. My theory, and I study it because I have young children, my theory is the shots. We’ve giving these massive injections at one time, and I really think it does something to the children.” -The Sentinel

The Theory: A sadly common belief among many parents (though virtually no doctors) that vaccinating your child causes diseases instead of preventing them.

Conspiracy Level: Eleven “I Want to Believe” posters

Hillary Clinton enabled rape

The Quote: “Is Hillary really protecting women?” -Instagram

The Theory: A number of women leveled have leveled serious, specific accusations at Bill Clinton regarding unwanted sexual advances, or worse. Clinton has maintained his innocence on all such claims (well, one notable exception notwithstanding), but the accusations remain real and very troubling. Where Trump goes a step further is by suggesting that Hillary Clinton allowed, enabled or even took sadistic glee in her husband’s alleged behavior.

Conspiracy Level: Very ugly, even by Trump standards

New Pod Flow: Sounds Good With Branden Harvey “Jason Russell”

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Jason is the cofounder of the iconic non-profit Invisible Children which was founded to increase awareness of the horrendous activities of the LRA in Central Africa. Jason was also the director of the iconic Kony 2012 film that took the world by storm. In this two-part interview Jason and Branden talk about what it means to create a movement, what Jason experienced during his breakdown and subsequent recovery, and Jason’s experience in the world of theater.

New Pod Flow: Animalators, “ Aharon Rabinowitz”

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Aharon Rabinowitz is the head of marketing for Red Giant based in New York City. During our conversation, we discussed the importance of work life balance, his start as a production intern at Sesame Street and why artist’s feel personally offended when you reject their work.

New Pod Flow: In Case You Missed It, Episode 040

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United gets their cheap on, fake news, and Trump hired who?

New Pod Flow: Scribble & Jam, “Artist Matthew Perryman Jones”

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Welcome to Episode IV. This week, Dan spends some time with his favorite singer/songwriter, Matthew Perryman Jones. Matthew and Dan talk about panic attacks, growing up in Atlanta, the way music is informed by pain and suffering and the way music gives freedom.

If you have spent any time watching television in the last decade you have most likely heard one of Mattew’s songs on shows like Grey’s Anatomy, Pretty Little Liars, One Tree Hill and many others. His insightful writing and voice have drawn comparisons to Leonard Cohen and Jeff Buckley, and he is on the short list of songwriters who skillfully weave the deeply philosophical and the vivid utterly human without ever losing sight of either.

To get his new album Cold Answer, (which features the three songs from him you heard on this episode), visit MPJmusic.com.

Subscribe on iTunes.

New Pod Flow: Sounds Good With Branden Harvey “Next Steps After the Presidential Election”

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Branden sits down with writer and speaker Tyler Huckabee days after Donald Trump was elected President of the United States to talk about empathy, justice, listening, and where we go from here.

New Pod Flow: In Case You Missed It, Episode 039

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Special Election Edition, President Trump to legalized weed and everything in between.

This week we reflect on the election and discuss our strategies for staying sane.

New Pod Flow: Animalators, “Illo

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Luca and Ilenia are the founders of Illo, a studio based in Turin, Italy.  During our conversation, we discussed their self-driving video bot named Algo, how Illo was formed and how they’ve crafted a unique office culture.

New Pod Flow: In Case You Missed It, Episode 038

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This week we discuss Beyonce’s night at the CMAs, last minute election plans and how SNL might save us all.

Subscribe on iTunes and Stitcher.

New Pod Flow: It’s a Bird, It’s a Plane, It’s a Podcast: Doctor Strange

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We appreciate everyone sticking with us through this long hiatus but are planning our return even as we speak, with a bunch of new goodies and an updated format. In the meantime, here’s a brief primer on Marvel’s Sorcerer Supreme, Doctor Strange — just so you can go into the movie knowing what you’re getting yourself into.

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