"We Don't Explore Parallel Universes" Energy Department Insists, Suspiciously. | Gradient
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“We don’t explore parallel universes” Energy Department insists, suspiciously.

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So, nobody who saw Stranger Things really thought the Department of Energy was actually involved in exploring parallel dimensions and running unsettling experiments on children. Stranger Things was just a fun story that involved some government conspiracies, and people are always down for a fun story about government conspiracies. But it’s all just some weird, imaginative sci-fi, right?

Well, maybe. But now the Energy Department has released a statement written by someone calling himself “Paul Lester,” a so-called “digital content specialist,” titled “What Stranger Things Didn’t Get Quite-So-Right About the Energy Department.”

Hold on, “Paul.” Nobody turned to Stranger Things hoping it’d be a documentary about real life at The Energy Department. However now that you protesteth, one can’t help but wonder whether or not you protesteth too much. 

“Paul” the “digital content specialist” (uh-huh) goes on to say that “the Energy Department doesn’t chart parallel universes” and “national laboratory scientists aren’t evil — they’re actually really nice (and smart)!”

HMMM. Even if this didn’t sound like it was written by an extraterrestrial who learned how to write English words by reading old issues of Highlights, we’d still have a lot of questions! Nobody was really asking whether or not Stranger Things‘ depiction of the Energy Department was realistic, but the Energy Department’s hasty insistence that it’s not realistic certainly sounds like the words of a shady government agency desperate to cover its tracks from a Netflix series that has inadvertently stumbled upon a truth too horrifying to believed.

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To get his new album Cold Answer, (which features the three songs from him you heard on this episode), visit MPJmusic.com.

Subscribe on iTunes.

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