Everything About This Donald Trump Posing As His Own Spokesman Story Is Insane. | Gradient
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Everything about this Donald Trump posing as his own spokesman story is insane.

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Donald Trump is a deep ocean of surprises. Every time you think you have plumbed his baffling depths, you realize you have only made your way to an even deeper ocean. He’s like a reverse Russian doll, in which every confusing mystery gives way to an even more confusing mystery. “Curiouser and curiouser,” as Alice said of Wonderland.

The crazy story de jour, breaking less than 24 hours after the whole nightmare butler fiasco, involves Donald Trump himself who, evidently, posed as his own spokesman to spread lies about how awesome he was to reporters. If that sounds wild than hang on, because we haven’t even gotten started yet.

Truth be told, Trump has already admitted (under oath!) that he spent “decades” talking to the press under the guise of “John Miller” or “John Baron.” A curious factoid by any measure, made wilder today with The Washington Posts leak of an actual audio recording of one such phone call. In a 1991 interview with People‘s Sue Carswell, a man calling himself John Miller agrees to speak about a host of rumors surrounding Trump’s dating life following his divorce from his first wife, Ivana. Trump had recently split from his live-in girlfriend Marla Maples, and People wanted a profile.

What follows is a truly bizarre conversation between Carswell and a man claiming to be John Miller. The man is actually Trump.

Donald Trump: How are you.

Sue Carswell: Good, how are you. What’s your name again?

Donald Trump: John Miller

Sue Carswell: And you work with Donald Trump?

Donald Trump: Yes, that’s correct.

You can listen to the entire fifteen minute conversation below.

“I’m sort of new here,” Trump goes onto explain. “I’m sort of handling PR because he gets so much of it …I basically worked for different firms, I worked for a couple of different firms, and I’m somebody that he knows, and I think somebody that he trusts and likes.”

So, what does Trump as Miller want Carswell to know about his life? Mostly about how desired he is by very famous women. “He’s somebody that has a lot of options,” Trump as Miller explains. “And frankly, he gets called by everybody. He gets called by everybody in the book, in terms of women. [Madonna] called and wanted to go out with him, that I can tell you.”

This is somehow, impossibly, not even the wildest part. Because Trump as Miller went onto explain that Italian supermodel and future first lady of France Carla Bruni had left Mick Jagger for Trump.

Donald Trump: I heard Carla—I mean, I’ll give you the—this is getting to be a little different from what I normally discuss. This is, I think, an interesting point. Carla is a very beautiful girl from Italy, whose father is one of the wealthiest men in Europe.

Sue Carswell: Who is her—what’s the name of her father?

Donald Trump: Well, her father’s name is—her name is Carla Bruni Tedeschi.

Sue Carswell: How do you spell that?

Donald Trump: I don’t know. Tedeschi. She doesn’t use the last name because it’s too complicated. But anyway, her father is one of the wealthiest men in Europe. Carla is extraordinarily beautiful and didn’t want to be a model, except that every time she’d go to a show to look, people like Ralph Lauren and various people would say, “Carla, you have to be in the show, et cetera, et cetera.” So she does all of the top shows, and she’s always very busy and very successful, et cetera, et cetera.

She was having a big thing with Mick Jagger. Did you hear about this?

Sue Carswell: Well, I’ve just been reading about it.

Donald Trump: What happened is, she was going with Eric Clapton.

Sue Carswell: Mick Jagger, who was married at that point?

Donald Trump: Mick Jagger, as of three months ago, she was having a big thing. But she just doesn’t want to be in the limelight. What she—and she was having a very big thing with Mick Jagger, and then what happened, she was going with Eric Clapton. And Eric Clapton introduced her to Mick Jagger. And then Mick Jagger started calling her, and she ended up going with Mick Jagger. And then she dropped Mick Jagger for Donald. And that’s where it is right now.

And again, he’s not making any commitments to Carla either, just so you understand.

Sue Carswell: What kinds of things have they done? I mean, do they go out?

Donald Trump: Well, they just get along very good, and she’s very pretty and all of that stuff. But you know, he doesn’t have any idea who she is, right? When he meets the right woman, it’s going to be a great relationship and it’s going to be a very, you know, because he believes strongly in the marriage concept.

And is this the most insane part? Once again, no. Because when Trump was asked about this on this Friday’s taping of the Today Show, he went into full denial.

“I don’t know anything about it. You’re telling me about it for the first time and it doesn’t sound like my voice at all. I have many, many people that are trying to imitate my voice and then you can imagine that, and this sounds like one of the scams, one of the many scams—doesn’t sound like me.”

Then he explicitly denied it to Savannah Guthrie: “It was not me on the phone. And it doesn’t sound like me on the phone, I will tell you that, and it was not me on the phone. And when was this? Twenty-five years ago? …Wow, you mean you are going so low as to talk about something that took place 25 years ago, about whether or not I made a phone call?”

And even this is not the craziest part. No, the craziest part is what happened later on Friday, when a group of Washington Post reporters—44 minutes into a phone interview with Trump about his finances—suddenly asked him “Did you ever employ someone named John Miller as a spokesperson?” Via the Washington Post:

The phone went silent, then dead. When the reporters called back and reached Trump’s secretary, she said, “I heard you got disconnected. He can’t take the call now. I don’t know what happened.”

Yes, and this is the craziest part of the whole story: Trump was speechless.

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Welcome to Episode IV. This week, Dan spends some time with his favorite singer/songwriter, Matthew Perryman Jones. Matthew and Dan talk about panic attacks, growing up in Atlanta, the way music is informed by pain and suffering and the way music gives freedom.

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To get his new album Cold Answer, (which features the three songs from him you heard on this episode), visit MPJmusic.com.

Subscribe on iTunes.

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Subscribe on iTunes and Stitcher.

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We appreciate everyone sticking with us through this long hiatus but are planning our return even as we speak, with a bunch of new goodies and an updated format. In the meantime, here’s a brief primer on Marvel’s Sorcerer Supreme, Doctor Strange — just so you can go into the movie knowing what you’re getting yourself into.

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